Second Entry: Idek

I stopped writting here because i got better.

I felt in love again. I started dating.

everything was fine. everything is fine.

So why these feelings keep coming back?

the same feelings that i try to fight back.

the need to feel the blades against my skin.

i havent cut myself in more than a month.

but the need is coming back.

i want to be hit by a car.

i want to stab a knife right through me.

cut myself until there's nothing more left, just blood.

yell.

cry.

throw up.

fall asslep and never wake up.

but i dont want to die, i promise you that.

i just want it to stop.

i want to be happy.

i try to

but it never seems enough.

im just depressed.

GUD